Oooh It Makes Me Mad

Overhead in a popular watering hole the other night. One UN Old Hand (i.e. more than 3 months here) handing out her wisdom to a couple of newbie’s:

“I like to collect Tais, but you can also get some really good coral jewellery here. The antique stuff is quite expensive but you can buy some made with new coral so I’d say get that”

It’s fucking illegal to buy or sell coral products here, to try and export it out of the country and to try and import it into either Australia, Singapore or Indonesia. Aside from that doesn’t this idiot watch Discovery, Animal Planet or any of the other many channels that have been telling us for years that coral reefs are dying? That we have a responsibility to help protect them.

UNTAET
UNTAET/REG/2000/19
30 June 2000
REGULATION NO. 2000/19
ON PROTECTED PLACES

Section 4
Coral Reefs

The coral reefs present in the waters of East Timor shall be protected. For the
purposes of the present regulation:
(a) the intentional killing, damaging, or destruction of coral or coral reef;
(b) the use of explosives or poisons for fishing which results in the killing,
damaging, or destroying of coral or coral reef;
(c) the buying or selling of coral or products made from coral; and
(d) the export of coral or products made from coral,
shall be prohibited.

Well, that got that off my well oiled and muscular chest

….

'Plane Speaking

Announcement by pilot of the 'plane which brought SG Moon from Bali to Dili


"Good morning ladies and gentlemen and welcome aboard this UN flight from Denpassar to Dili. As I am sure you are aware, we have a Very Important Person on board today, the Secretary General of the United States...." Doh!


Embarrassed silence ensued.



Ban Ki-Moon


George W. Bush



UN Pilot







Overheard on my verandah recently:

"There are some things a man just can't walk around" (I think that was actually Gary Cooper)

"I can make cheesecakes on auto-pilot"

"You can't put the shit back into the horse"

..........

Over the Top

The following is a verbatim transcript:


Office of the Special Representative of the Sectary General
United Nations Integrated Mission in Timor-Leste
Postal Address: obrigado Barracks, Caicoli, UNMIT Headquarters, Dili,
Timor-Leste

REMARKS BY SRSG ATUL KHARE AT THE TOWN HALL MEETING
ON 30 APRIL 2007-05-04

FIRST UN GLOBAL ROAD SAFETY WEEK

Good afternoon,
I would like to take this opportunity to remind all UN staff members of our responsibilities as peacekeepers in Timor-Leste.

We are GUESTS in this country and we are present here to help the people recover from the trauma of conflict, and not to perpetuate it. Each and every one of us owes a fundamental duty of care to the people of Timor-Leste. We must always be on our best behaviour and work towards maintaining the respect and trust of the Timorese people and the United Nations.
Let us not forget that all our actions reflect the image of the United Nations and I call on all UN staff members to practice courtesy and respect at all times, including when driving.
Never underestimate the impact we can have on our good relations with the Timorese community, simply be being friendly and courteous while driving. For many Timorese, the only interaction they have with the UN is when a big white car passes them on the street. Don’t waste that opportunity to make a positive impression and help us as a mission have good relations with the community. Little gestures, like a smile and a wave, can make a huge difference.
Many of you may say that the driving conditions here can be challenging, but let us remember that the basic driving rules and concepts of road safety are similar in all countries. Therefore, I call on everyone to respect and practice these rules here in Timor-Leste as we would in our countries of origin or nationality.
Not drinking and driving, not speeding, not cutting-off vehicles, but obeying traffic signals and allowing pedestrians to cross the streets, are just some examples of road safety rules that if followed could make a difference, not only in the perception given when big UN cars drive by, but in ensuring that our lives and the lives of others are not compromised.
Since 1 March 2007, there have been over 80 traffic accidents where UNMIT vehicles were the only vehicles involved. The frequency of accidents has been increasing significantly.
More recently – yesterday – UN Security conducted a Joint Operation from 0100 to 0400, where checkpoints were established in the vicinity of ‘Pig Bridge and Dili 2001.’ During this three-hour time frame:
26 UN vehicles were stopped
Four UN staff members tested positive to a breath test. One refused to take the test.
Three vehicles and two weapons were impounded.
Seven non-UN staff members were being carried in UN vehicles in violation of regulations.

Yesterday’s operation was set-up following an incident that took place at 1.35 a.m. on Saturday morning when a UN staff member was stopped because of erratic driving. This staff member, who was pronounced drunk, also assaulted the police.
Yesterday at 3.30 in the morning, another accident took place near Hatuberiku, where six Portuguese teachers and 1 Timorese national were injured. The fact that this was a vehicle travelling on its own greatly contributed to the delay in reaching the injured persons. Yesterday’s accident reinforces the need to conform with the rule for two vehicles to travel together on roads that have not been approved for single vehicle use.
I am shocked and distressed by these developments.
These numbers reveal the high volume of accidents involving UN staff. Let us work together to reduce these numbers and to set an example of proper road safety behaviour.
Thank you.

All great sentiments.
Now, when is the SRSG going to deal with the issue of armed UN personnel drinking alcohol in the various ‘de-stressing’ establishments here? I personally have nothing against alcohol, in fact I am known as a bit of a connoisseur of the distilled liquid. But I do object to being in a bar with someone who has a gun on their hip and a beer in their hand. (see UNPOLs post, 12 February 2007)
There, that’s got that off my chest…….

Fruits N' Nuts!

This is something I just had to post. I read it this morning whilst per-taking of my normal breakfast: 8 Marlboro lights, 5 large black coffees and a coughing fit. Mrs Sod was having her usual muesli and the muesli packet had it’s back to me. It’s an Australian product so maybe that explains a few things. It took me at least an hour to wipe away the tears of laughter.
Anyway, this is what is said on the back of the packet:

Quote
“Our muesli isn’t just a mixture of different fruits, grains and seeds, it’s a United Nations of flavour, where everyone gets along. When the cranberries have a dispute with the currents, they don’t fight, they hug each other. Then when that’s done, they hug the apple. Then all three of them visit the strawberries and hug them too. Then you know what? Everyone hugs muesli. Sometimes, late at night, you can hear them singing peace songs with that quirky out of tune guitar of theirs. So pour yourself a bowl and TASTE the DIFFERENCE”
Unquote

Is this why I perceive the UN as a bunch of fruits?

You couldn't make it up if you wanted to.

Please leave a comment………

Wimmin

Closing remarks of SRSG Atul Khare at UNMIT Press Conference, March 15, Obrigado Barracks, Caicoli, Dili

Quote
SRSG Khare: Well I think we close the press conference here. And since I formally close the press conference, I want to say something, today is, since the three months that I arrived it is now my 14th weekly press conference and in the next press conference I really want to encourage the sole woman, Timorese journalist that I see every time to ask the first question no matter what question you want to ask, first question not matter what. Thank you.
Unquote

Well, it don’t come much more patronizing than that…..
Maybe she should ask him when the UN Secretary General will be a woman.