Wednesday, 26 December 2007

Ho Ho Bloody Ho

Well, I hope you all had a very merry and peaceful Christmas. Except the little gits who burgled our house on Christmas Eve. I hope they get blinding hangovers from the booze they stole from us.
On Monday night, the 24th, I left the house at about 7pm to go and get more Xmas supplies. Returning around 8.30pm I noticed that two cases of golden nectar (Tiger) were no longer in the place I had left them. I assumed someone had put them away in a tidy place. Wrong assumption. Waking up on Christmas morn I tried to locate said Tigers with no luck. I also noticed the back door was unlocked and standing partly open. Upon investigation we found that as well as the Tiger’s, a bottle of Gordon’s gin, a nice expensive pair of binoculars and all of our spare keys were missing. Being very quick off the mark we realized we had been burgled. Nice work Sherlock. Determined not to let this event ruin the day I quickly sped off to Dili Cold Storage and repurchased the booze.
Around midday, M, who uses the spare bedroom, came round with goodies and Christmas cheer. The Christmas cheer didn’t last long though. We told M that we had been burgled and upon checking the room she discovered that around USD 450.00 was missing from her purse along with a couple of credit cards. Bugger. The plod were called, they arrived promptly and statements and a list of stolen goods were taken.
We then did a little investigation and assumption of our own. It appears the scrotes had climbed over our VERY high wall, cut through the mosquito net on an open window and entered the house that way. They were obviously very very good at this because Mrs. Sod happened to be in the house alone at the time and she didn’t have any inkling that we had uninvited guests creeping around.
The theft of the money and goods I am not too worried about. They are just ‘things’ and can easily be replaced. What worries me most and makes my blood boil is the fact that at least two villains were in my house with my wife who was alone. It is also obvious that the scrotes had at least one knife for cutting through the mozzy net. I hate to think of what might have happened had Mrs. Sod encountered them. This also means that if during the night we should have intruders I will assume they are armed and things could go very very wrong.
The result of this event is that we now have to do something we have been trying to avoid. I will have to make the place look like a prison camp, razor wire all round, broken glass on top of the walls and a sturdy hitting implement by the bed.
Another interesting thing about this incident is that our dogs, 3 of them, didn’t start barking up a fuss. They are normally very good about letting us know when we have uninvited guests in the place. We can only assume that the perps either knew the dogs or they drugged them in some way. We suspect the later because the dogs were very off their food that night and were quite docile. At the time we put it down to the Christmas spirit but now we think they had been ‘got at’.
So, if anyone out there in Dili happens to see some drunken guys with possibly a half bottle of gin and a pair of binoculars with ‘FF’ inscribed on them, please give me a call and I will arrive promptly with some big mates and a bad attitude.

Seasons greetings to all and good will to most………


Quiz Mistress said...

Tsk. Condolences on the loss of your faith in human decency. Yes, it's horrid having barbed wire, but Mrs. Sod's worth preserving...

Anonymous said...

Just think of the poor down trodden people just looking to better their lot in life by pinching your booze, binos, and more cash than they've ever seen in one place... And I'd worry more about the keys taken - if they got any of your car keys you may hear a familiar sound late some night... Hope you still have a Merry Christmas,
Scott The Fyre Guy

Malibu Kid said...


Very sorry to hear about your Christmas Eve rip-off. Sounds like SOP for ET. Could be worse: I'm sure you remember when the little bastard(s) got into the CHC house back in '02 or '03 and beat the poor woman senseless with a baseball bat. Sorry..., but my opinion on the indigenous species hasn't changed since I left; and you know what my opinion is, and it ain't pretty!

In spite of the scrotes, I still have great memories of several Christmas Days at Bob's Rock. I'll definitely see you and Mrs. Sod next year.

Happy New Year!

The Malibu Kid

Mrs Sod said...

For me, to resort to consoling myself with racism would be a greater loss that anything that was stolen. I feel very sad for the majority of good people in our village - who feel the shame, and even though they know who the bad guys are, feel powerless to do anything about events like this, which reflect on the community as a whole. We will boycott this village economically (and given our beer consumption, that's a significant loss). We will ostracise them, good or bad. We will never, ever employ anyone from this community. That might make us feel a little better, but as anyone who follows world events knows, sanctions only hit the people who least deserve it. Timorese people have some soul-searching to do - outside the church - about how they bring up their children; about how long they intend to continue watching their own people committing crimes without protesting; about how long they intend to bow to this kind of intimidation; about what independence really means. I am sad and angry, not about our missing possessions, but about the fact that in spite of seven years living here and the unconditional love that I have offered to these people, I am still irrelevant to them and less than human in their view - when they see me, I feel that they just see a sack of money on legs. It hurts when they still use passive resistance against us, saying one thing and keeping their true thoughts hidden from the "oppressor". They don't want our love, our respect, our help or our friendship. But why should I presume to expect that anyway? Unconditional love means just that - and even though it's unrequited, I still feel it.
My New Year's wish for the Timorese peole is that they will find the strength to let good prevail and finally embrace true independence. If they open up to us, they might find that the "good malae" are their strongest allies in this struggle.
With love,
a tear-sodden Mrs Sod

Anonymous said...

Shame about that you are both good people and deserve better.

Anonymous said...

Should've paid the Maubre mafia

fat old sod said...

Dear anonymous re the Maubre mafia.
You are a prat.

Anonymous said...

Dear Sods,
You have my greatest sympathy. My family home was burgled twice, once when my younger brother was home alone. The goods taken are irrelevant compared to the loss of faith in a community you thought you knew.
Best wishes for better things in the new year.
Northern Monkey.

Anonymous said...

Sorry for what has happened to you. I know when razor wire was put up at residences and offices of some malae, there were rumblings that this was inappropriate/standoffish. However, unfortunately, it appears not only appropriate, but necessary. We always say, "hope for the best, prepare for the worst."

Anonymous said...

Stash the good booze and leave a laxative laced bottle in plain view, that'll teach them!


Anonymous said...

While working in Dili for a short time, I had a bottle Vodka in my hotel room slowly but noticeably dwindle down, but not from me. So did others in our group in their rooms. No one ever came into my locked room besides hotel cleaning people. Working with medical personnel allowed me access to certain extremely effective, if not volcanic, pre-surgical bowl evacuants. I was within hours of spiking a new bottle of Vodka with a strong overdose of this gastronomically explosive elixir. Then the culprits would have learned a serious lesson with very violent diarrhea for several days. Lucky for them we transferred back to Darwin that week as I wasn’t the only one having evil thoughts in our group about dealing harshly with these thieves. And it’s not the Vodka, but rather the naked feeling of being violated that sparks these feelings.

For you Mrs. Sod, you cannot continue to reward bad behavior, (criminal behavior) with "unconditional love." They will never learn right from wrong, and you, in the name of "love" will be doing them a terrible disservice and in essence, ratifying their actions. I hope 2008 brings a peaceful incident-free and prosperous new year to you, Mr. Sod, and the East Timorese.