Saturday, 29 December 2007


I have received quite a few SMS messages from people commiserating with us for our Christmas Eve burglary and as you may have noticed a few comments on the post also saying basically the same thing.
I do appreciate the sympathy but we have to get things into perspective. I read a report from a town near Seattle about a family of 6 gunned down in their beds. Two toddlers, their parents and grand-parents.
On Christmas day apparently a grandfather playing cricket with his family on a beach in Western Australia was clubbed to death in front of them over a row over some beer.
And of course there is Iraq, Afghanistan, Darfur etc etc. The list goes on and on, just fill in your own locations.
Now for a comi-tragic story of Christmas.
My friend Henry, an irascible old sod at the best of times, got a ‘phone call from a friend of his, Lisa, to say that her dad, who has been in Dili General hospital for a couple of weeks, was fading fast and could Henry do anything to help. Henry arranged with Dr. Dan (another local hero) for a bed at Dan’s clinic and set off for the hospital with Lisa to pick up the old boy and take him somewhere more comfortable. Upon arriving at the hospital they were told that the old boy had died and could they please arrange to take the body away! ‘Of course’ said Henry, ‘give us the forms to fill in and an ambulance to take him way, no worries’. Well, longish story short, no forms to fill in, no ambulance to transport the old codger. So, Henry and Lisa washed the body, picked up the old guy and carried him out to Henry’s pick-up. They placed him sitting upright in the back seat and set off for Lisa’s home. So, there’s H, driving along with a dead ‘un in the back, looking in his rear-view mirror and being met with the icy stare of the newly departed. As Henry said, what would he say to any spotty faced 18 year-old ISF soldier if they were stopped at one of our frequent checkpoints. You’ve gotta laugh. The funeral was on Christmas Day.
Now for the ‘perspective’ angle.
All we had stolen on Christmas Eve was stuff. That was it, we can always replace stuff. Of course there is the feeling of violation and intrusion but worse than that is the hate I felt for the people that carried out the robbery. Now I’ve calmed down, and turned Chateau Sod into a stalag, much like the Aussie embassy compound, the hate has gone and believe it or not I actually feel sorry for the boys that robbed us. We know who they are but can prove nothing; they are between 16 and 22 years old. Try and imagine what they saw in late ’99. Militia and TNI rampaging through the streets, the UN abandoning them, relatives killed in front of them, their houses burnt, in some cases their sisters and mothers taken away. Imagine the contempt they must have for their current leaders and the Law when they see people like Rogerio Lobato, freed from prison in August for 30 days to have medical treatment in Malaysia, still there and apparently now a well man. People like ‘Major’ Alfredo Reinado, a prison escapee, who shot at unarmed police officers, who turned to an SBS camera and said ‘got him’ with relish after firing at the same unarmed police officers, still in the hills, heavily armed, dictating terms to the ‘Government’.
No wonder these boys think they can get away with anything. And why shouldn’t they when their ‘leaders’ set such an example.
Rant over and that’s off my chest.

Your comments are invited…….

ps - they also got our iron, so if you see Mr. and Mrs. Sod around town looking a bit dishevelled, you know the reason why.

Wednesday, 26 December 2007

Ho Ho Bloody Ho

Well, I hope you all had a very merry and peaceful Christmas. Except the little gits who burgled our house on Christmas Eve. I hope they get blinding hangovers from the booze they stole from us.
On Monday night, the 24th, I left the house at about 7pm to go and get more Xmas supplies. Returning around 8.30pm I noticed that two cases of golden nectar (Tiger) were no longer in the place I had left them. I assumed someone had put them away in a tidy place. Wrong assumption. Waking up on Christmas morn I tried to locate said Tigers with no luck. I also noticed the back door was unlocked and standing partly open. Upon investigation we found that as well as the Tiger’s, a bottle of Gordon’s gin, a nice expensive pair of binoculars and all of our spare keys were missing. Being very quick off the mark we realized we had been burgled. Nice work Sherlock. Determined not to let this event ruin the day I quickly sped off to Dili Cold Storage and repurchased the booze.
Around midday, M, who uses the spare bedroom, came round with goodies and Christmas cheer. The Christmas cheer didn’t last long though. We told M that we had been burgled and upon checking the room she discovered that around USD 450.00 was missing from her purse along with a couple of credit cards. Bugger. The plod were called, they arrived promptly and statements and a list of stolen goods were taken.
We then did a little investigation and assumption of our own. It appears the scrotes had climbed over our VERY high wall, cut through the mosquito net on an open window and entered the house that way. They were obviously very very good at this because Mrs. Sod happened to be in the house alone at the time and she didn’t have any inkling that we had uninvited guests creeping around.
The theft of the money and goods I am not too worried about. They are just ‘things’ and can easily be replaced. What worries me most and makes my blood boil is the fact that at least two villains were in my house with my wife who was alone. It is also obvious that the scrotes had at least one knife for cutting through the mozzy net. I hate to think of what might have happened had Mrs. Sod encountered them. This also means that if during the night we should have intruders I will assume they are armed and things could go very very wrong.
The result of this event is that we now have to do something we have been trying to avoid. I will have to make the place look like a prison camp, razor wire all round, broken glass on top of the walls and a sturdy hitting implement by the bed.
Another interesting thing about this incident is that our dogs, 3 of them, didn’t start barking up a fuss. They are normally very good about letting us know when we have uninvited guests in the place. We can only assume that the perps either knew the dogs or they drugged them in some way. We suspect the later because the dogs were very off their food that night and were quite docile. At the time we put it down to the Christmas spirit but now we think they had been ‘got at’.
So, if anyone out there in Dili happens to see some drunken guys with possibly a half bottle of gin and a pair of binoculars with ‘FF’ inscribed on them, please give me a call and I will arrive promptly with some big mates and a bad attitude.

Seasons greetings to all and good will to most………

Thursday, 20 December 2007

'Plane Speaking

Announcement by pilot of the 'plane which brought SG Moon from Bali to Dili

"Good morning ladies and gentlemen and welcome aboard this UN flight from Denpassar to Dili. As I am sure you are aware, we have a Very Important Person on board today, the Secretary General of the United States...." Doh!

Embarrassed silence ensued.

Ban Ki-Moon

George W. Bush

UN Pilot

Overheard on my verandah recently:

"There are some things a man just can't walk around" (I think that was actually Gary Cooper)

"I can make cheesecakes on auto-pilot"

"You can't put the shit back into the horse"