In a major show of strength yesterday United Nations (UN) forces paraded a new tank battalion through the narrow streets of Dili. The tanks have a 12litre capacity and can be used for upto 2 hours by skilled operators. Dutch Major Hugh Per-Diem, head of the battalion said “We feel the UN has needlessly spent vast amounts of cash on these items so we are obviously delighted. And I get to wear the famous ‘blue beret’”. When asked about the cost of the tanks, Turkish UN chief procurement officer Izit Tacksfree whispered “the cost is not the point my friend, the fact is we got them cheap, I have a brother in the business. Enough said. And we can leave the tanks for the Timorese army when we go, at a good price”.
F-FDTL General Tua Longlunch was unavailable for comment as there was a holiday in East Timor this week.
Private Ian Come of the 3rd Highland Queen’s Own Stiffupperlip regiment, in command of one of the tanks, commented “Oh gosh, this is fun, my own tank, lots of exotic totty and I get to wear the famous ‘blue beret’”.
Australia also has 2 personnel in the battalion. Digger Private Specialist Gunner Albie Wright of the Great Australian Bight 2nd light/heavy armoured witchity grub regiment added “Mate, this has gotta be the go. Sun, sand, sea and tanks. I’m as happy as a two-dicked dingo. And I get to wear the famous ‘blue beret’. No bloody grog though”.
Delighted Dilinesians showered the
UN tanks (pictured at a secret location)
with sacred rocks and arrows when
they arrived in East Timor recently.