I’m going to do something now that I said in my very first post I would never do. I’m going to go all introspective. When I first started this blog I wasn’t sure of the reasons I was doing it. I read Squatters posts and he inspired me (thanks Squatter, you bas***d). As it progressed and I got more and more comments, most nice and kind, I convinced myself that maybe I was doing a service for some people out there, particularly worried relatives and friends of Internationals based here who for some reason or another couldn’t communicate with their loved ones. Obviously the most read posts have been the ones during the times of ‘crisis’, when people are worried, not much news is getting out and the posts (I assume) are more interesting.
But, and it’s a big but, I’ve found the whole process of ‘blogging’ to be addictive. If I don’t post for a couple of days I feel as though I am letting my, albeit limited, readership down. Hence posts like this one, which are about me and not East Timor. When nothing, relatively speaking, is happening here, its hard to feed the monkey. If I could take bits and bytes intravenously I would.
I read on another ET blog today that some of us were being censored. It felt as though my dealer had left town with no forwarding address and no-one else I could ‘phone. Fortunately it turned out it was just a server problem And there’s the rub. When I learned that maybe people couldn’t read my drivel I felt as though a part of me had been amputated.
My ‘phone/internet bill has virtually trebled since I started this, I go to bed a lot later after trawling other people’s blogs to get some inspiration and I’m racking my brains all the time to try and think of something vaguely interesting to post.
When I read things like “I woke up this morning and I hated her, she looked at my boyfriend yesterday” I think to myself, get a bleeding life you supercilious, smug, self-satisfied git. Write a bloody diary. Who wants to read about your boring life anyway?
Well, obviously I do read about it, reluctantly.
So, bottom line, I might well turn this blog into crap about me AND East Timor.
AND get in a little ‘good natured’ Aussie bashing and some not so good natured UN bashing.
You have been warned.
ps – so you don’t have to count, I’ve used ‘I’, ‘Me’, ‘My’ and ‘I’ve’ 38 times…..